Duck Huntin

Frum Olivia-

I'm writing you to ask for your help.... Last night we all went out of Halloween. This fat fuck in a duck towel tried to pick me up when I stated no many times. Next thing I know, he is picking me up and he falls over with me in his arms. I gave so many people crotch shots and was straight up embarrassed. I wasnt drunk enough for... that. Regardless, he hurt me and made me cry....

Do you have spare box cutters? Wanna play duck hunt?

Dear Alivia,

It is no fun when some duck is trying to get you to stroke his bill when you is uninterested in him. Ah sujest you be packin' heat next time, Use number 12 buckshot for a duck that big, Girl. Ifn' you wants some help, ah kin come over. but not next week, dick cheney n me is goin' huntin'.

Love, Tiffany Amber smith