Promoshuns

Ripley Beste How do ahs go abouts gittin mah husbern premoated?

Riplay,

First, ah am dissapointerd that yous only had one husbands. The bests way to gits yer husband premoated is to trade him ins fur a higher rankin one.

Ifn you kaint do that, ah recommeneds havin someone elses baby. Thisin ways you kin git an extra paychecks.

Last, you kin sleep with his boss and then takes pictures fur blackmails.

Hope that helps.

~ Tifany Amebrs

PS padon mah spellin I's ate too much candies an everything is blurry.

Fat Girls continued

A.j. Bailey Dear Tiffany A., my "friend" (he's an E-6) was married to a ho almost as hot as you. While he was deployed she left him for an O-4, now he can only attract fat girls...what should he do?

A.J. He should have sex with fat girls. They needs luvin too!  Plus theys obviously makes some good sammiches.

A.J. said...

so I...I mean, my "friend" banged one of these fat girls and it was very disappointing. Is there a trick to it...should he use a harpoon gun or something?

 

A.J.

Maybes you missed. One good trick is tah takes the fat girl, open a big bag of flour over her, and then roll hers around. Ifn she's good an ready, you go for the wet spot. Either you gits her mouth,  the armpits or her vajayjay.  You gots a 1 in 2 chance of having a good time.

TA

 

Halloween

I aint askin

Dante Foulke


What do you think about repealing the DADT policy? Should it happen?

Dantes,

I figures that's one more bunch a paychecks I kin git mah hands on.

~ TA

Duck Huntin

Frum Olivia-

I'm writing you to ask for your help.... Last night we all went out of Halloween. This fat fuck in a duck towel tried to pick me up when I stated no many times. Next thing I know, he is picking me up and he falls over with me in his arms. I gave so many people crotch shots and was straight up embarrassed. I wasnt drunk enough for... that. Regardless, he hurt me and made me cry....

Do you have spare box cutters? Wanna play duck hunt?

Dear Alivia,

It is no fun when some duck is trying to get you to stroke his bill when you is uninterested in him. Ah sujest you be packin' heat next time, Use number 12 buckshot for a duck that big, Girl. Ifn' you wants some help, ah kin come over. but not next week, dick cheney n me is goin' huntin'.

Love, Tiffany Amber smith

Lori Green

Dear Tiffany Amber, what is your secret to getting through the Army Hospital ER as quick as possible?

Deer Lori,
Show up wif a baby comin out.

~TA

FAshin

Danixa Rosa

 

Dear Tiffany; how I can git yo style?

 

Ah gets a lot of it seckinthand from some ladies who work at the club. an the salvashun army. sometimes the walmarts but they never fits raht so a little snip here and you kin turn a tank top into a halter and minni skirt. You also got to be a size 2 like me.

 

~TA

Medsin

Anonymous said...

Dear TA

I have Yellow discharge My Husband says thats the norm. is it?

Dear Anynimious...

Ifn yer husbint is a gymacumolajist then yeah. ifn yer husbint is a garbitch callecter, then go to the army Clinic. Jes in case you bin messin around a little tell him doctor you think your husbint been tomcattin it up wif someone else.

~TA

Run

Jessica Anne  Dear TA -

My boyfriend of nearly 4 years recently decided that he thinks we should "take a break"... What should I do???
Jessica,

Ifn a man says he wants a break, then I thinks you shoulds take that as a sign that you should RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CANS.

~TA

Fat girls

A.j. Bailey Dear Tiffany A., my "friend" (he's an E-6) was married to a ho almost as hot as you. While he was deployed she left him for an O-4, now he can only attract fat girls...what should he do?

A.J. He should have sex with fat girls. They needs luvin too!  Plus theys obviously makes some good sammiches.

 

Crickets said...

Hey Tiffany, what's the best way for my friend to deal with his cheating wife when we get back from deployment? (She did it a lot of times during the year too)

Well now, this un's a tuff one. AH cheats on mah husband cause we's po. This in way I gits more money from mah baby daddies. Maybee whens mah husband git promoted I won't do it no mo, and he knows all abouts it anyways. He luvs me an says he forgives me every time. That he knows abouts.

On the other hand, ifn she's just a lying cheatin ho who is doin it cause she can't go a day without have a sausage, then he needs to kick her to the curb. Aint no call ta be violent, jus go down ta JAG an git youself a Devorce. It's easy, I done it 4 times already.

~ TA

Neethu said...

OH EM GEE TIFFANY AMBER, YOU ARE SO AMAZING! I just wanted to know where did you get your striped midriff from? Is it vintage or designer? Please let me know! Thanks!

Neethu,

Ah gots it from the salvashun army in Fayettenam. AH had to bleach its tah git the bugts out, and that's wear the stripes comt from.

~ TA

Mah first one!

Aimee said...

Hi Tiff! You're my HERO!

My question is about a company Halloween party this weekend. It's going to be all senior enlisted and officers, so I really need to pick the right costume to make a good impression. What do you suggest?

Aimee, I gots one word. TIGHT. Ifn yous got a one of them youngin hard bodies, y'all kin show it off. Ifn you gots some extra poundage, then you kin show off your cushin. Some mens like that powerful much. And git some kinda push uppity bra.

I hopes that helps. ~ TA

Introduction

Hey y'all!

This here's mah firs post. I'm a gonna git inta the advice business. Aks me what you wants!

TA